Helping Your Kids Adapt to Life During COVID-19 and Social Distancing
Author: Dave Fonda - April 20 2020
It’s amazing how a microscopic protein molecule we’d never even heard of just months ago has turned our whole world upside down. Today, no one knows how long this situation will last, or what exactly the world will look like once it’s over. What we do know is that, for all its disruptive power, COVID-19 is bringing our immediate families closer together than ever. Which, we also know, is sometimes as difficult and taxing as it is fun and cozy and loving
Recently, we asked Dr. Chantal Ste-Marie, Child Psychologist and Co-Founder of Sage Psychology in Pointe-Claire, Quebec, for some ideas to help parents support their children as they navigate through these most unsettling times. Here’s what we learned.
Recently, we asked Dr. Chantal Ste-Marie, Child Psychologist and Co-Founder of Sage Psychology in Pointe-Claire, Quebec, for some ideas to help parents support their children as they navigate through these most unsettling times. Here’s what we learned.
Tackling COVID-19 With Our Children
“Kids are a lot more resilient than we think,” said Dr. Ste-Marie. “Many kids will navigate the current situation with little or no negative impact. And in fact, some kids with social anxiety, those who were being bullied at school, those with learning difficulties, or who felt frustrated and helpless in the classroom may actually be happier at home,” she continued.
That said, for those kids who do struggle with the changes to both the world around them, and to their daily routines, her advice to parents is to give them time to adjust to their new normal and to anticipate questions. “They’ll want to know why school is cancelled; why they can’t play with their friends; why they can’t see Grandma and Grandpa; they’ll want to know when life will get back to normal.”
For these kids, she advises that parents provide reassurance, and explain how they are keeping the family safe and healthy. She asserts that while parents should be as honest as possible, she cautions them to consider their kids’ ages and maturity levels when responding to questions. According to Ste-Marie, “parents should be careful to provide children with the information they can handle. Too much information or information they are not developmentally ready to absorb on a cognitive or emotional level, can cause more harm than good.” She also advises that parents monitor outside sources of information and “limit exposure to news and social media, as there is a lot of misinformation as well as information that may be overwhelming to younger children.”
According to Ste-Marie, children need consistency and, like all of us, a purpose to get through their days. While they may complain about it, kids thrive on routine. Enlist their help when establishing a new daily or weekly schedule. Having them make time to read, write, practise math, stay active, socialize (via audio and/or video calls), play and rest will keep everyone busier and calmer. She adds, however, “that parents shouldn’t feel guilty if they can’t always stick to the routine.”
While an increase in screen time will likely be an acceptable reality in most homes right now, Ste-Marie recommends setting reasonable parameters around kids’ TV and social media time. Get them outside (while practising proper guidelines for social distancing, of course)! “We know that sunshine, movement and fresh air can do wonders for our moods,” she asserts. “Kids are no different. We also want to get them involved and engaged in doing things that will help them feel empowered and in control. Get them busy reading, doing art, music, cooking, learning a new language or skill, or playing games!”
That said, for those kids who do struggle with the changes to both the world around them, and to their daily routines, her advice to parents is to give them time to adjust to their new normal and to anticipate questions. “They’ll want to know why school is cancelled; why they can’t play with their friends; why they can’t see Grandma and Grandpa; they’ll want to know when life will get back to normal.”
For these kids, she advises that parents provide reassurance, and explain how they are keeping the family safe and healthy. She asserts that while parents should be as honest as possible, she cautions them to consider their kids’ ages and maturity levels when responding to questions. According to Ste-Marie, “parents should be careful to provide children with the information they can handle. Too much information or information they are not developmentally ready to absorb on a cognitive or emotional level, can cause more harm than good.” She also advises that parents monitor outside sources of information and “limit exposure to news and social media, as there is a lot of misinformation as well as information that may be overwhelming to younger children.”
According to Ste-Marie, children need consistency and, like all of us, a purpose to get through their days. While they may complain about it, kids thrive on routine. Enlist their help when establishing a new daily or weekly schedule. Having them make time to read, write, practise math, stay active, socialize (via audio and/or video calls), play and rest will keep everyone busier and calmer. She adds, however, “that parents shouldn’t feel guilty if they can’t always stick to the routine.”
While an increase in screen time will likely be an acceptable reality in most homes right now, Ste-Marie recommends setting reasonable parameters around kids’ TV and social media time. Get them outside (while practising proper guidelines for social distancing, of course)! “We know that sunshine, movement and fresh air can do wonders for our moods,” she asserts. “Kids are no different. We also want to get them involved and engaged in doing things that will help them feel empowered and in control. Get them busy reading, doing art, music, cooking, learning a new language or skill, or playing games!”
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Now you know how much we love board games! Whether they’re educational and enlightening, totally silly or just plain fun, board games can bring the whole family together. Carving out time to sit down and play a great game can build closeness, provide a ton of laughs, and may temporarily help us forget the world outside, all while creating some great memories. They can also make everyone feel like they’ve achieved or accomplished something. For free, printable games you can play in the safety of your own home, check out our Print & Play Program, launched earlier this month.
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You can also create your own games to help kids learn new and healthy behaviours. For example, little ones don’t always wash their hands or practise safe social distancing very well. So why not make up a sing-along game of washing our hands and keeping our dirty paws off each other’s stuff? Or see who can spread their arms the widest while playing in the yard?
How COVID-19 Challenges Adolescents
Adolescence is an important time of discovery and growth. It’s a time when they develop independence. It’s when they prepare to leave the nest, when they want to explore the world and bond with their peers. Unfortunately, mitigating COVID-19 demands that everyone (teenagers included), practice social distancing from friends, classmates, team, band and soul mates. According to Ste-Marie, this can leave adolescents, especially, feeling more overwhelmed and disempowered than anyone. Ever.
Fortunately, social media (used reasonably) can help teens stay in touch. In addition, trusting your teens to look after your family’s electronic media can make them feel in charge.
While they’re online, ask them to find you better, more reliable and timely information sources. You can reward them with either more chat time or time playing video games. Then ask them to share what they’ve learned with you, their siblings and grandparents. Now that’s empowerment!
Fortunately, social media (used reasonably) can help teens stay in touch. In addition, trusting your teens to look after your family’s electronic media can make them feel in charge.
While they’re online, ask them to find you better, more reliable and timely information sources. You can reward them with either more chat time or time playing video games. Then ask them to share what they’ve learned with you, their siblings and grandparents. Now that’s empowerment!
Now Manage Your Mental Health
One of the most powerful tools we have as parents is leading by example. We’re all in a difficult situation that many adults are struggling with, so it makes sense that our kids would have difficulty too. They need us now, more than ever. If you find yourself having trouble dealing with the current situation, Dr. Ste-Marie suggests seeking out help from a trained healthcare professional. Learning to manage your own mental health will help equip you to manage your children’s.
Whatever you choose to do to help your family navigate through this challenging time, communication is key. Listen to their concerns with compassion. Reassure them that you’re there for them. Cry together. Play together. Laugh together and you’ll get through this together. One day, one walk, one laugh, one game, one victory at a time.
Whatever you choose to do to help your family navigate through this challenging time, communication is key. Listen to their concerns with compassion. Reassure them that you’re there for them. Cry together. Play together. Laugh together and you’ll get through this together. One day, one walk, one laugh, one game, one victory at a time.
Stay healthy. Stay safe. Keep Calm and Game On!
